False Friends

A recent status update on facebook read, “Some friendships do not last, but some friends are more loyal than brothers” (Proverbs 18:24).

More truth can be gleaned from this passage by checking out different translations: “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (NIV); “A man of too many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (NASB); “There are ‘friends’ who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother” (NLT). The idea is stronger than “some friendships do not last;” some friendships will destroy you! Some friendships will crush you.

Ouch!

Most people over the age of two months get the truth of this verse. As an infant, you share your pacifier and your friend feeds it to the dog. As a child, your summer pool friends join the cool crowd when school starts and they leave you with the nerds. As an adolescence, you bounce from relationship to relationship always leaving a piece of yourself behind. As an adult, you share your workplace concerns with a co-worker who tells the boss who then asks you to leave.

Most people have learned that not everyone you think is your friend is your friend. Some friendships are false. When push comes to shove, false friends will feed your pacifier to the dog. They will ditch you for another crowd. They will take advantage of you for their own pleasure. They will break confidence for career advancement.

That perspective paints a bleak picture of friendships. Maybe the best course of action is to avoid people all together and get a dog. You won’t have to worry about the dog talking behind your back. But, he may still eat the pacifier. That won’t work.

This proverb is not saying avoid people. It is not advising against friends. Friends are good. Everyone needs them. Just know that with many friends comes the possibility of false friends who may crush you.

Find those few friends who are tighter to you than your own family. Share your life with them and enjoy the blessing of heeding Solomon’s wisdom.